Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Gotcha!

I bet I fooled you into thinking that I'd actually be serious about the environment, didn't I?
I'm also sure that you've watched my trusty Minister, John Baird, bloviate and you were even more certain that Canada was serious about the environment, right? What's so funny about him is that he often puts together sentences that make no sense...and no one calls him on it!
Well guess what? I lied, he lied and actually that's been pretty easy to do. You see, we've become very good at making statements that don't actually mean anything and don't have any basis in reality so no one really asks us anything related to them. When I do speak to the press, (hate that part of the job) they ask the obvious questions but since we don't actually answer them, they don't have the opportunity to push their line of thinking when they report. They're forced to deal with what I've said, which is nothing.
Pretty clever don't you think? We've mastered the art of distorting reality.
Oh sure, there are opinion pieces out there that criticize us, but a quick scan through current print media will tell you that the opinion writers who will defend me on any cause out number those 'rationale' writers by about 10 to 1.
As for the journalists, well they are so pressured to get their stories in on tight deadlines, that they basically just take what we say and print it. Thankfully they don't often have time to provide real context. It's all good.
So, this G8 summit went exactly as planned, not that I was surprised. We went in wanting to accomplish nothing and it was a raving success! We cobbled together a vague statement that said we'd reduce ghg's, 50% by 2050. Good don't you think? Sound familiar? I hope so because you see the first thing you do when you want to do nothing, is make it sound clever and easy to remember. We knew it would work because in Canada we put together the 20% by 2020 plan and and ton's of people bought into it. It just sounds good. That's the trick!
We changed the accepted base year in Canada of course and the reduction is based on intensity, not reality, but that's rarely analysed. It's the catchy '20% by 2020' that rings. What's really genius about the G8 statement is not only did we not outline details on how this would be accomplished, but we even avoided the nuisance of providing a baseline! 50% by 2050! That's it, that's all. Genius, don't you think?
Yes, I know that environmental groups are deriding this summit's outcome, but so what? They really only get press coverage during these meetings then fall silent once they're over. They don't play the important 3rd party advocacy role that they really could outside these high profile meetings and when they occasionally do, we can baffle gab the media then too and life goes on. We're not about fact, we're about distorting it. So far, so good.
All in all this PM gig has turned out to be better than I thought. I am changing in the country in ways that most people don't pick up on, (except for Tom Flanagan of course, whom I admire but I just wish would stay quiet until I get the majority that I crave), and realising years of dreams.
I have a pretty motley crew that pose as MP's, but they're on a short leash attached to a choke chain, so that's not a big problem and I have a group of bloggers that are able to whip non-stories into lawsuits against the Liberals. What's not to love?
Reality is not what counts today, I've changed all that. What's important is that I can shape a reality that is easily consumed and goes unchallenged. So far, so good!
Gotcha!
P.S - I'd say I "screwed" you, but that got me into a bit of trouble.
Obviously, this is my version of Harper being a bit honest with me. What's yours?

14 comments:

Steve V said...

You know what would be fun? Reviewing every Harper statement, after each of these international gatherings. Everytime Harper claims important progress, or success, but nothing every happens. If you put his comments from 2007, I bet you wouldn't be able to tell the difference from the latest blah, blah, blah,. On one level, it's just amazing to watch a man tour the world, uttered the same crap, all the while actually ACHIEVING nothing.

knb said...

Hmmm, that would be fun Steve and maybe something I'll take on.

Though, I do wonder who would get it?

BTW, can you tell how frustrated I am?

Johnathon said...

"BTW, can you tell how frustrated I am?"

Why are you frustrated?

Because your heroes in the liberal party of canada were too busy stealing money rather than complying with Kyoto.

The liberals have no moral ground to complain at all about Harper.

All you really can say is, " Oh well, Harper is doing what the liberals did".

Anytime you criticize Harper, you look ridiculous.

WesternGrit said...

Jonathon... Are you insinuating that a Liberal PM stole money? After all, you're drawing the comparison to criticism of Harper. Care to modify/lie about/and/or expand your statements?

As far as "Mr. Bungles" the Clown and his cronies..., isn't this what corporate government is all about? The new American "realpolitik". Message, message, message. If you lie, make it a big lie... Always hire a good PR/Ad firm. Buy the best Republican consultants...

It's the neo-Conservative way to do politics... dontchya know? When you create your school of political "thought" in the boardrooms of Big Oil Calgary, you certainly learn how to bullshit with the best of them. I've been there. Worked there. Know the lines of BS first hand. Guess what? The line of BS comes from Dubya's Texas oilmen - who prevade Calgary like a flesh-eating virus... In the Harperites' case, it's "monkey see, monkey do..."

Anonymous said...

Harper the master strategist who has the world's leaders eating out of the palm of his hands.

knb said...

johnathon are you addled?

Harper blames all of his woes on the Lib's. Blame them! That's his motto.

Any time you defend this moron, you emulate his behavior.

All the while you kneel at the altar of Harper and you look more than a bit ridiculous, but I don't expect you to get that. You're eyes are closed during that reverent act aren't they?

Thanks for proving my point.

penlan said...

johnathon...it's time for you to go back home & play in your sandbox with all your tiny toys.

Gee, maybe daddy steve will even bring you a pospicle if you are a good little boy...

sheesh, what a load of crap spewing from your keyboard.

RuralSandi said...

knb - Jonathon should be deleted - he has surfaced again all over the blogosphere with nasty, bigoted attacks - also going under the name Jonathon Kahdr.....Big City Lib has deleted him....I suggest everyone else do the same.

penlan said...

I'm with you on that ruralsandi! He's everwhere today & is completely outrageous & disgusting.

Steve V said...

"Anytime you criticize Harper, you look ridiculous"

Funny, that's how I feel everytime you comment.

knb said...

sandi, penlan...as a general rule I'm happy for these folks to expose themelves for the morons they are.

If it get's out of line, I'll delete. This guy is obviously only interested in stirring things up and makes no real points.

I'm happy frankly to expose the stupidity, ignorance and racism of some Harper fans.

I hear you though and if it detracts completely from the discourse, your advice would be well heeded.

knb said...

Steve, what he says tells me I'm touching a nerve with the religious harperites.

To me that means they are worried, (if they are thinking people), that they are worried about their crew at the margins.

In all of their non-speak, they provide volumes of potential strategy takes for the party.

Watch the Con website. they provide the talking point, idiots like this take it up, the site changes to include barbs they've noticed by their devoted.

Idiots all.

Steve V said...

I just delete it now. My new policy, if I wouldn't allow it in my home, why allow it on my blog. Everybody has freedom of expression, why shouldn't I have the freedom to ignore it. It would be different if it was constructive, or an airing of different views, but this clown is has one purpose, tour the Liblogs and spew the crap. I don't feel I need to give it a voice anymore.

I miss Olaf ;)

knb said...

Good points and to be honest, I've asked people to leave my home...long story.

I miss olaf too.